Posts Tagged ‘Julian Assange

16
Aug
12

Easy Prophecy, Meep!

Apparently, I was wrong: Ecuador has, indeed, granted asylum to Julian Assange. The coming days will reveal how its officials can get him out of the embassy and out of reach of Swedish harpies and American executioners. And if this is actually any concern of theirs.

In the meanwhile, I can imagine the desperate race of a swarm of spin doctors trying to cram Assange’s name, as well as the continued existence of England and the location of Sweden, in the thick skull of Romney and his jock running mate. Outraged speeches will follow.

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03
Aug
12

Whatever Happened to Julian Assange?

If we have learnt one thing from the case of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, it is that sexual assault allegations are a great way to discredit an opponent–and put him in jail, too. The fact that he will then be raped every day is of no concern to the Honest, Right-Thinking Citizen: it is distasteful to talk about such things and, in any case, we think only the orifices of women are worthy of legal protection; as for those of men, it’s ok to peruse them, as long as they don’t enjoy it. But I am straying from the main point, which is the absolutely ridiculous “rape” case against Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. Let’s look at the facts where the Average Joe would first look for them, namely, Wikipedia:

On 20 August 2010, two women came to Swedish police inquiring whether it was possible to require that Julian Assange be submitted to an HIV-test. The women involved were a 26-year-old in Enköping and a 31-year-old in Stockholm.

This sounds like: two women, living 78 km from each other and allegedly raped on different days, go to the same police station the same day. How come? Did they meet on julianassangerapedme.com?

It also sounds like Swedish women have a rather cavalier attitude towards rape: “Say, officer, we would like to ask whether we can have a bloke take an HIV test. Oh, by the way, we weren’t consenting, but first things first”.

And if this weren’t enough, we have the other side of the story: Assange himself.  The man, basically a nerd, with absolutely no precedents for either sexual or violent crimes would decide to devote himself to rape twice when he is at the top of his celebrity and in one of the countries in the world where it is easiest to score. Did he suddenly come to think that he should really try raping somebody before he turned 40?

Of course, it didn’t go like this. Reading more in-depth articles, one finds out that the two women are not two mysterious figures, sheltered by Swedish victim protection laws: they are called Anna Ardin and  Sofia Wilén. They are on Twitter. They are on Facebook. Anybody who cares to can contact them, including conspiracy-minded capitalists, vengeful Americans and public prosecutors looking for five minutes in the sun. And they knew each other in advance. The case becomes a lot clearer now: both women shagged the same guy, within days, both turned out to have done so without a condom, and figured out that if somebody is both a man-whore and a bareback rider, one’d better be on the safe side of STD’s. Then the vultures came.

What convinced the two blondes? Jealousy? Money? Fame? Brainwashing by a man-hating prosecutor? With the formless mass the media are becoming, we might never know; what we do know is that Anna Ardin seems to be obsessed with revenge.

And what about Ecuador? It is in a difficult situation, one from which it is brilliantly coming out by procrastinating: for every day spent in the embassy, the neutral press finds it less interesting to talk about Assange, while the lackeys of capitalism continue a smear campaign against him that, started with preposterous allegations of endangering lives in Afghanistan, is now engaging in such barrel-scraping that even his table manners are criticized. Either by indifference or hostility, people (other than my readers: those I shall constantly remind) will forget about Assange: then, he’ll be thrown to the wolves, probably in exchange for a better banana deal.

As I said before, being a prophet is not that hard.